Friday, October 24, 2014

According to Pat Robertson we all have the power to raise the dead, but we're simply not using it. Wait, what?

"Well he gave his disciples authority to heal the sick, to raise the dead. I mean that was part of our power. You see ladies and gentlemen God is almighty, he is A-L-MIGHTY, and he gives us that power and Jesus said 'you say to the mountain. you speak to the dead person.' He called on Lazarus. he said 'Lazarus come forth' and the dead man came up out of the ground. We have the same power. he's given it to us, it's in the holy spirit. But we need to be in touch with him. We need to behold him. We need to be submitted to him. That power's there we're just not using it."

Well this changes my afternoon plans completely.

Here I was planning to go to the movies with my daughter, but screw that!

There is a dead dog in the woods just off the road and by God I am going to go on over there and raise that puppy from the dead.  And then I am going to start my new life as a faith healer and zombie maker.

I can hardly wait!

Boy I wonder if I could raise Sarah Palin's career from the dead?

Nah, that is too miraculous even for God.

23 comments:

  1. Anonymous1:47 PM

    LOL...it's called a Ouija board....:)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Balzafiar2:00 PM

    Actually there's a pill for that: Viagra.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous2:02 PM

    You are so cute, IM! Love you sense of humor. Have a great time at the movie w/your daughter and a wonderful weekend!

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  4. Balzafiar2:08 PM

    On a more serious note, I need to ask old, putrid, dried-up, shit-encrusted, senile and almost dead Pat Robertson why in the world, if his so-called God gave us the power to raise the dead, why do people die in the first place?

    Answer that please, you old fake.

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  5. vegaslib2:08 PM

    He is absolutley nucking futs. Damn. I remember when he said that if your wife is sick, divorce her and marry someone else. Mighty fine Christian values there buddy. So much for "in sickness and in health". Just making it up as he goes along.

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  6. Anonymous2:10 PM

    Red Sate.com kick Palin's ass -Politically, I am Through with Sarah Palin
    http://www.redstate.com/2014/10/24/politically-i-amthrough-with-sarah-palin/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous3:57 PM

      WOW! FINALLY, they say something I agree with!

      Delete
  7. Anonymous2:23 PM

    Someone should ask Pat how many dead people he's raised?

    Was his faith not strong enough?

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  8. Anonymous2:27 PM

    Sarah, Bristol & The Recurrence Of The Eternal Victim



    As you've likely seen Sarah Palin and her daughter Bristol have now spoken out about their notorious boozy family brawl, recasting Bristol's attack on the event's host as a morality tale about violence against women and media bias. We should note that probably no one in American public life better embodies the echo-chamber of digital life. Most prominent public figures say their piece and then various memes and jabs and more bubble their way up from Twitter or blogs or whatever other parts of the digital commons. With Palin, they're always packaged together as a single product. So in talking about themselves they're already railing about Hunter Biden and Chelsea Clinton and media bias and the 'war on women' and the rest. As she has since she stepped onto the national stage six years ago, Palin is the ultimate avatar of base Republican culture since she views herself as an eternal victim, with all the grievance and resentment that entails.

    So now, liberals, the media, Democrats, apparently anyone who thinks Palin is a buffoon of almost world historic proportions (which gets you to something like 80% of the country) are all abominable hypocrites for 'laughing' at what is now fairly preposterously portrayed as a violent assault against a woman. If you listen to the police interviews, which occurred just as the brawl had barely ended, all the witnesses beside Bristol said she attacked the homeowner. Indeed, even Bristol's younger sister Willow backed up the these other witnesses' account. She just said Bristol missed with her punches.

    I think it kind of goes without saying that if news emerged that Bristol had been assaulted by a boyfriend or spouse or really anyone else, no one would be laughing. Indeed, I'm not sure anyone now is laughing so much as standing back agape and marveling. But advocates who are trying to alter public perceptions about and stiffen penalties against violence against women are, I do not think, saying that female bodies are inviolable in every case if you barge into someone's party and start swinging punches at them.

    To cite this as an example of the scourge of violence against women is really to make a mockery of it.

    But this is actually a common tendency on the right with issues of gender, race and much else. If you don't actually take the issue seriously in the first place, it comes naturally to flip it around in a cookie cutter kind of way. You say we are hostile to women? Well, I saw you be mean to a woman, too! So there! Whether it's treating women by different standards or bearing animus toward women as a group doesn't really matter. If you don't really care about the issue in the first place it's easy to turn it on its head. Because you don't see it as a problem but a cudgel, just another weapon in the brick-a-bat of partisan or ideological combat.

    ...So no. Bristol is not a battered woman. She is a battering woman, which may give her some claim to being a feminist icon, as she suggests. I don't blame or care if the Palins are defending themselves or making up stories or doing whatever else. That's just the drama and involuntary performance art that makes up their public lives. But their dead-ender defenders need to accept that if you're a public figure, a recent candidate for national office, and you crash a party drunk and the fists start flying and the police have to show up to sort everything out, people may end up hovering over the details and getting a chuckle out of it. That's life.

    http://talkingpointsmemo.com/edblog/sarah-bristol-and-the-recurrence-of-the-eternal-victim

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous2:56 PM

      Ahhhhhh........dead-ender defenders.
      Wavin' at ya, 4pees!

      Delete
    2. Anonymous3:53 PM

      Bravo TPM! Nice burn.

      TBoggs has a good one up at Raw Story too. Oh lordy, the comments are great. I was laughing my ass off. They are really on a roll.

      Here's a couple that cracked me up.
      Hoodathunk:
      Evidently in Alaska when you stand on someone else's ground and get your butt kicked, it's the librul media's fault.

      Lee Bowskee:
      Show of hands......when was the last time you got so drunk someone stole your shoes?

      Delete
  9. Anonymous2:32 PM

    Really want to help, Gryphen? Then lend $arah a shovel to finish burying her 'career.'

    Career, eh? Guess that's a polite a euphemism as any.

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  10. Anonymous2:40 PM

    Look busy Pat...Jesus is watching...time to bring back St. Ronnie to take back Murica!

    Sheesh

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  11. Anonymous2:46 PM

    The dead dog thing makes me really sad. If any creature deserved a blessing from the made up sky fairy it is dogs. They are much more noble that we are.

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    Replies
    1. Anita Winecooler5:23 PM

      I feel the same way, especially when the death is at the hands of the owner.

      Delete
  12. Anonymous2:53 PM

    ""She just said Bristol missed with her punches.""

    Gee, I guess that explains why her manicure survived the drunken brawl unscathed. Too bad one can't say the same thing about her already sketchy reputation as a mom and boozy fake abstinence advocate.

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  13. Anonymous3:00 PM

    You go first, Pat, show us how it's done.
    Or are you not submitted enough?

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  14. Anonymous3:29 PM

    I'd love to tell Pat to go straight to hell, but there is no suck place. And since he doesn't have a 2 foot dick, telling his to go fuck himself isn't an option either. So All I can say is keep on scamming and grifting off the stupid people, Pat, because after you die no one will remember you.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Anonymous3:37 PM

    Dear Pat,
    You totally stupid man. You are a legend in your mind.
    No one that I know gives a rats ass aboot you or what you have to say.Get a life you grifter,and yea hate monger.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Anonymous3:43 PM

    Maybe Pat Robertson raised himself. He sort of looks like he's been "pre-deceased."
    Beaglemom

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  17. Anonymous3:55 PM

    This is utter blasphemy. This is a lie straight from hell: "You shall not surely die; in fact, you shall even raise the dead back to life." Pat Robertson, who can not even reverse his wife's dementia (so, instead he lives in adultery – and condones it to his audience): now on the same page with Satan.

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  18. Anita Winecooler5:25 PM

    Trust me Pat. I got the power. You pick the day and time and I'll try and pencil you in, just mail your check and pray real hard.
    Sarah of Wasilla

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  19. Anonymous6:40 AM

    That power is described in the NT for disciples. But, they have to have a renewed transformed heart and be in prayer every day (and show Christ through their walk and talk).

    The problem with the westernized churches today is they lost their first love (Revelations' description of what the church would look like in the last church age). They are lukewarm, and it says, that God would prefer they either be hot or cold, not lukewarm, as it causes God to want to spew those out of his mouth. It sickens Him. Is this why we get so sickened hearing about the hypocrisy?

    Pat Robertson is a scary dude and has the mindset of many of his colleagues, that is to dominate. I can't tolerate any of it anymore. Check out the fact that a good proportion of christians can't go to institutionalized churches any more just because of men like this.

    ReplyDelete

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